From Ashes Comes Beauty

My last blog post, which was in July of 2024, was a difficult one. In it, I shared a little bit of my journey surrounding the decision to close my studio permanently. Or at least I thought it might be permanent. I’d like to take the time now to back track a bit and share what was going on behind the scenes and what has taken place since then.

Throughout 2023 and 2024 I was struggling a lot with different aspects of my life, including my life as an artist. Mostly, I was struggling with the practical side of things, the business or administrative side. There were also several practical roadblocks preventing me from going to my studio when I needed to or when I had time. I felt defeated, discouraged and burdened. I felt as if practical side of things was becoming an albatross – a hindrance and burden -- around my neck. It was making me dread creating art too.

In June of 2024 I began to contemplate the concepts I had learned in the past about forest fires. Specifically, the ecological benefits and necessity of forest fires and the parallels we can draw from them for our lives. While forest fires bring devastation and destruction, they also bring long-term essential benefits. I did some research about forest fires and here is an overview of what I found in these articles from American Forests, National Geographic and the WFCA:

Benefits of Forest Fires:

· Clears away life-stealing old brush and dead organic materials

· Allows for new growth

· Recycles nutrients back into the soil

· Disperses seeds of fire-adaptive plants

· Burns ground cover to give seedlings a chance at light

· Increases soil’s fertility

· Helps kill diseases and harmful insects

· The burning process itself offers rich benefits

I can clearly see profound symbolism and metaphors in forest fires which can be applied to life in vast ways. In hindsight, I can see this is what the Lord was doing in my soul and life regarding my arts business and creative journey the past two years.

At the beginning of 2024 I was getting restless and frustrated regarding the arts. I felt I needed to somehow start fresh or let it all die completely. Then after a while of ruminating about forest fires, in July of 2024 I sought the Lord and said, “if you want me to start over or end this arts vision in me, then I ask for a sign by closing my studio space.” I shared this prayer with a few friends, asking them to pray too. Within less than one week of this prayer, the basement space I was using as my studio was no longer available. I had a month or so to make other arrangements.

I was filled with mixed emotions: relief and thanksgiving but also fear and feeling lost. How do I move forward practically? What do I do with all my artwork and supplies? I know from experience it is very difficult to find an affordable studio space in an accessible location. I reached out to several friends for prayer. I also had a “knee jerk” reaction that I just wanted to get rid of everything! I wanted to be free! I wanted to let this arts dream and vision, which had become an albatross, to die completely. I reached out to some individuals and offered all of my supplies and artwork for free and said I would be in touch to make the arrangements.

About a week later, I shared in a blog post that I would be closing my studio possibility permanently. I felt strongly I needed to have a death to this area in my soul and in my heart for cleansing purposes. To allow this “forest fire” of dreams, of self, of art, of roadblocks, of lies, of confusion etc. to occur. I then wanted to take time to grieve and simply see what the Lord had next.

Even though I announced I was closing my studio, as I mentioned, I still had to figure out what to do with the large amount of completed artwork, blank canvases, supplies and furnishings. Even though I had told people I was getting rid of everything, I was so thankful for a few kind individuals who were encouraging me not to just give away/donate everything, but to wait. Some even offered to house my paintings and supplies until I could figure things out. They believed in me in the midst of a very confusing and heart-wrenching time. Their kindness at that critical moment in my life was not lost on me.

I soon realized the absurdity of simply “getting rid” of everything in this manner. But I still needed to move everything out and soon. The easiest solution was to rent a storage space until I figured out what to do. It was at that point I began to consider how I could turn the storage space into my new art studio.

I am thankful to say, in August of 2024 a few friends helped me move my studio into a storage space – which is now my new studio! The first painting I created in my new space is called “From Ashes Comes Beauty”. It is taken from the scriptures:

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor. (Isiah 61, NIV)

I feel this scripture nicely describes the forest fire experience I've been going through. I see it as an exchange that needed to take place. The burning up caused my outer circumstances and inner world to turn to ashes. Those same ashes became the new nutrient-rich soil which birthed new life and new growth.

Every time I would walk into any of my old studio spaces I would be hit with a flood of life, joy and anointing that comes from the Lord through the artwork I have created over the years. And this new space is no exception. This past season has been a time for the charred soil of my soul to rest, rejuvenate and receive new nutrients from the Lord. Many times I have gone to my studio to soak in the Lord’s presence and to simply be quiet and still. Other times I worship and pray or reflect and dream.

I am excited for this next season for my life – personally, spiritually and creatively. Thank you to all who have supported me -- in prayer, with encouraging words, with your time, offer of support, your donations, your love or by enjoying, sharing or purchasing my art.

And if, while reading this, you find yourself in the midst of a “forest fire” of sorts in your own life, I encourage you to open your heart, allow the Lord in, and partner with Him to see how He can bring beauty from ashes for you too.

Much love,

Nanci