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From Restless and Disappearance

Between Restless and Disappearance

Restless fire

filled with sparks that

dance their passionate, momentary existence

upwards against the dark sky.

Slowly the magic fades

leaving paper-thin ash

to fall wistfully

resting on me

until a night breeze

draws it away

into disappearance.

At times I too feel like a restless fire. I am also aware that my restless moments on the earth will fade away like a fleeting fire-ember. I find a haunting beauty in the fleetingness of earthly life. Yet I am more intrigued by the questions of the meaning of life which the haunting beauty unearths within my soul. What is the purpose of my existence? Why was I created? And what will happen when I one day disappear from the earth?

I have come to learn there are many layers to these questions. Some layers can be answered and known on this side of life -- before death. Others will remain a mystery until we are on the other side of life -- after death.

But as I learn to lean in so I can hear the voice of the One who created me, who also created the restless fire within me, I learn of his love which was so immense that he had to pour it out on something; rather someone. And that someone was all of humanity:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (NIV)

So, I am left with the challenge: what will I do with this fleeting, restless life-fire I’ve been given? This life which has been lavishly loved with an invitation by my Savior and Creator. Will I waste my life and this invitation? Or will I receive the invitation to believe, and in turn pour my life, my love back out onto Him so that he can have the immense pleasure to transform my restless life of disappearance into a life filled with His restful permanence?

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