Between Restless and Disappearance

I wanted to share a poem and some thoughts based on one of my paintings of the same name.

Restless fire

Filled with sparks that

Dance their passionate, momentary existence

Upwards against the dark sky.

Slowly the magic fades

Leaving paper-thin ash

To fall wistfully

Resting on me

Until a night breeze

Leads it into disappearance.

____

At times I too feel like a restless fire. I’m also aware that my restless moments on the earth will fade away like a fleeting fire-ember. I find a haunting beauty in fleetingness of earthly life. Yet I am more intrigued by the question of the meaning of life which the haunting unearths within my soul. What is the purpose of my existence? Why was I created? And why will I one day disappear from the earth?

I have come to learn there are many layers to theses questions. Some layers can be answered and known on this side of death. Others will remain a mystery until we are on the other side of death.

But as I learn to lean in so I can hear the Voice of the One who created me, who created the restless fire within me, I learn of His Love which was so immense that he had to pour out His love on something; rather someone. And that someone was all of humanity: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

So, I am left with the challenge: what will I do with this fleeting life I’ve been given which has been lavishly loved into an invitation by my Savior and Creator? Will I waste my life and this invitation? Or will I receive the invitation to believe, and in turn pour my life, my love it back out onto Him so that he can have the immense pleasure to transform my restless life of disappearance into a life filled with His restful permanence?